.You can tell within seconds whether someone’s old money or not—and it has nothing to do with their handbag or how they’re dressed. It has to do with how they speak. And it’s probably not what you think.
Let’s talk about old money–coded secret linguistic handshakes.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m your Auntie Kiki. As an ex–rich person, I’m an old money and etiquette expert—but as a romance author, I teach you the cheeky social skills hacks you probably weren’t taught in finishing school.
Now—let’s tweak that introduction and make it old-money coded.
“Nice to see you—Kiki Astor. I believe we last crossed paths at… was it Bemelmans? Or was it Lyford Cay, for Fiona Remington’s wedding? No? You look so familiar. Elizabeth—are you by any chance related to the Cabots… not the Coldplay Cabots—the Greenwich Cabots? No? Well, then you simply must meet Bridget, darling. She’s frightfully good with horses. And you say you’re in media? So was she. I think you’d get on splendidly. Me? Oh, since we no longer have to look after the family farm, I dabble in romance… and I do enjoy talking about little social skills things—those bits you might not have picked up at Miss Porter’s. But truly, I’m far more interested in you.”
Note the subtle conversational cues: nice to see you- surely we have met as we are part of the same circle—name-dropping and location dropping without bragging, assuming shared circles, and deflecting focus back to the other person—these all signal old money without a word about wealth.
Anyway, darling, I hope this helped.