Don’t be basic and bring Veuve to your next party: Here’s how to choose a good Champagne

 If you’re invited to a dinner party and you say, I’m going to bring a great bottle of champagne, don’t bring a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. This champagne is sold at Costco. Is it rather expensive? I think so. Is it basic? Yes, it is. You may think I’m just being a snob, but I’m actually being helpful, because guess what?

You’re going to spend a lot of money on this and no one will be impressed. Least of all, anyone who knows something about champagne. Because darling, there’s a huge difference between the champagnes that celebrities like, that they’re spraying people with at beach clubs, and the champagnes sommeliers like.

So what’s the difference between a good champagne and a trendy champagne? First of all, have you heard of it? Is it in rap lyrics? Do you recognize the label as much as you would an LV logo? Let’s discuss.

First, Moët et Chandon. No one’s pretending they think this is an exclusive champagne. It’s a huge producer, it’s omnipresent.

They even make some in California. This is a conglomerate. So if you’re thinking French exclusive and elegant, no. Not a single sommelier will say, Oh yes, Moet et Chandon is my favorite champagne. Next, Perrier Jouet. What a pretty bottle. You like the bottle, don’t you? You don’t know about the taste. It’s floral. It’s okay. Again, it’s basic.

Cristal. Since its inception, Cristal was designed as a Veblen good. Something that is overly priced and displays how rich you are.

Same goes for Armand de Brignac, otherwise known as Ace of Spades, owned by Jay Z. Listen, Jay Z has excellent taste in women. Witness, Beyoncé. But does that extend to champagne Not so sure. So if you want to impress people, you actually know what they’re talking about.

Which champagne do you choose? How about trying these sommelier favorites:

  • Éric Rodez Blanc de Noirs Grand Cru Brut
  • Cédric Bouchard Roses de Jeanne Les Ursules Blanc de Noirs Brut
  • Krug Grande Cuvée
  • Dom Pérignon
  • Comtes de Champagne Blanc de Blancs by Taittinger
  • Amour de Deutz by Deutz
  • Ayala Brut Majeur, ‘Extra Age’, NV
  • Larmandier-Bernier Premier Cru ‘Longitude’ Blanc de Blancs Extra Brut
  • Chartogne-Taillet Cuvée St-Anne

If all of this is too much of a mouthful, darling, a simple Ruinard will do.

Trust Auntie Kiki when she says that bringing a champagne that people didn’t know is more impressive. But outside of impressing people, how do you know what makes a good champagne?

Does it taste good?

Do you like it?

How are the bubbles?

Is its taste more “complex” however you define that?

Never make a mimosa with champagne.

By the way, darling, there’s nothing wrong with a good Crémant de Bourgogne from Trader Joe’s, which is not a champagne, but which is quite tasty. And there are American bubbly wines such as Iron Horse that are quite fabulous.

 You also have quite good Proseccos and Cavas. Don’t be a snob, darling.

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