It’s never polite to crash a party, but here’s how to do it right.


 Crashing a party is never really elegant or OK, but I get it.


FOMO is bad for your skin. Also, there’s all the free booze and fun and meeting people. So how do you crash a party without completely dropping your pedigree papers? Let’s talk about crashing etiquette. Now, before I divulge some of the crashing techniques that even your Auntie Kiki has engaged in, including one that works almost every time, I must caution you that you must never crash a wedding, a funeral, a dinner party, or a small party at the home of someone you know.


If they didn’t invite you, they have a reason. (Unless they genuinely forgot, but then you can use their guilt as social currency. Trust me on this.)


And in general, don’t crash charity events and balls. You’ll look like a cheap arse. But when it comes to gallery openings, product launches, parties at clubs, celebrity birthday parties. Go ahead and crash. Your presence will only make it better.


So, let’s start with easier, less sneaky ways of getting in.


If someone got an invitation, ask them to forward it to you. Promise you won’t tell on them. If the event is organized by a party planner or PR company, there will be an RSVP email. So simply send an email there and say, “confirming my attendance,” and sign it with your full name. Bonus points if you put Re: subject of the original email, in your subject line.


So sneaky, darling. Now if this doesn’t work, send a very polite message to the organizer saying something like, “I wasn’t invited but I would rather like to go.” Don’t beg. But do give them a few compelling reasons why it’s a good idea to invite you. You could also concoct some press connections. Now, if none of this works and you still want to show up and try to get in in person, you must do your homework.


Know what the event’s about, find out who’s attending, who it’s honoring, and if you dress properly, there are less chances that you’ll be turned away. Don’t come off like some rando. Knowing who’s attending is important, because it means you can drop a few names. That can be very helpful. Now you may think that sneaking around to the service entrance is the way to go, and I say go to the busiest entrance, because no one wants to hold up the line.


If the event is a birthday, bring a gift, an inexpensive one. Auntie Kiki brought flowers for Peter Beard’s birthday. Got me right in. If you end up being turned away, whether it’s by some name checker or by the bouncer. Don’t be abusive. Simply say, Gosh, I’m sorry we had such a misunderstanding. This is devastating.


Don’t make a scene. They’ll remember you. And don’t flirt with them. That’s awkward. Now, if all else fails, here’s a method that can get you in on pure bravado.  You buy yourself a very basic wine glass. You get a flask with some wine in it. Pour it in at the last moment, wrap it in a cocktail napkin. Now you hold that in one hand, and your phone in the other.

And now, you walk past the doorman very quickly. If they try to stop you, you wave at them and gesture that you’re on the phone, goddammit! Communicate that in body language, not words. Once you get in, how do you blend in and look like you belong? Have fun. Have a drink. Don’t get too drunk, darling. Start talking to people. When it comes to strangers, the more awkward ones will be more receptive. Just be charming, thank the host, and don’t make a spectacle of yourself…


…and perhaps one day, you’ll actually be invited.

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